Serving Students at Santa Ana College and Santiago Canyon College INDONESIA Etiquette

Introductions

Introductions in Indonesia are unhurried and formal.  Hasty introductions show a lack of respect.  This applies to all Indonesians, from executives to laborers.  Handshaking lightly with everyone in the room is customary in Indonesia upon arrival and again upon departure; avoid using your left hand.  Indonesian Chinese may combine a bow with a handshake.  Chinese men are more likely than other Indonesian ethnic groups to be comfortable shaking hands with a woman.  The traditional Hindu greeting involves a slight bow with the palms of the hands together, as if praying, called the namaste.  However, it is also an acceptable alternative to a handshake when a Western businesswoman greets a Hindu Indonesian man.

Indonesian handshakes may be rather limp and may last for over ten seconds.  Aside from handshakes, there is no public contact between the sexes in Indonesia.  (see rules relating to physical contact below)

Businesspersons line up so that the most important persons are introduced first.  When two people are introduced, the name and title of the highest ranked person is stated first. 

Names

Every variation of personal naming patterns can be found among Indonesia's myriad ethnic groups.  Westerners often experience difficulty dealing with Indonesian names.  Always take your time over an introduction.  Repeat the title and name of the person and ask if you are pronouncing  them correctly.  If possible, write the name down phonetically.  No matter how difficult or unusual sounding a name, do not make fun of it.

People may have one name or two, given name followed by a family name or vice versa, or one name and one initial.  Most business people you meet should be addressed with at least a title and their name.  A Westerner may use Mr., Mrs., or Miss, plus their name.  However, be aware that you may be omitting other titles, important both to the person and your understanding of that person.  The traditional Indonesian forms of Mr. and Madam, Mrs., or Miss are:  Bapak = Mr. (this term precedes any other titles) and Ibu = Madam, Mrs., or Miss (any woman, married or unmarried).  Note that Bapak literally means "father," and Ibu is "mother."  In a formal introduction, the preferred sequence is:
• 1. Bapak or Ibu
• 2. Academic title, if any (alternatively, an academic title may be stated at the end of this list)
• 3. Title of nobility
• 4. The individual's given and family name
• 5. Business or political title

Fortunately, most Indonesians will accept sincere attempts by Westerners to express native names and titles.  As a general rule, among ethnic Indonesians, the average citizen will have only one name while the middle class will tend to have two.  Usually, the higher the social standing, the longer the names.  Long names are often shortened for everyday use.  An individual with two names often uses one name plus the initial of the other name.

A Muslim male who has completed his pilgrimage to Mecca is entitled to the honorific Haji.  A woman who has done so has the title Hajjah.  Note that these titles are not automatically conferred on spouses; they must be individually earned by making the pilgrimage.  However, when in doubt, include it. 

Chinese names generally consist of a family name followed by two (sometimes one) personal names.  Married Chinese retain their maiden names.  Although Westerners commonly address a married woman as Mrs. plus her husband's family name, it is more appropriate to call her Madam plus her maiden family name.    Some Chinese adopt an English first name; others use their initials.  As you inquire of an Indonesian how you should address him or her, be forward in explaining what he or she should call you.  Indonesians may be equally unsure as to which of your names is your surname.  Follow their lead as to the degree of formality.  First names only are not used.

Indonesia was a colony of the Netherlands, and usually uses Dutch academic titles.  These titles include:  Drs = Doktorandus, a graduate in any field except engineering or law (male); Dra = Doktorartda, the above degree when awarded to a woman; Ir = Insinjur, a graduate with an engineering degree (male or female); and S H = Sarjana Hukum, a graduate with a law degree (male or female).  Westerners should use their usual academic titles, rather than translate them into the Indonesian equivalent.

Physical Contact

Most ethnic Indonesians are Muslim; the majority of the others are Hindu.  Traditionally, there is no physical contact between men and women in these cultures.  If a woman touches a religious Muslim male, he must ritually cleanse himself before he prays again.  Because of this, women should not offer to shake hands with Indonesian men nor should men offer to shake hands with Indonesian women unless a Westernized Indonesian offers to shake hands first.  Upon greeting, the traditional Muslim Indonesian salutation is the word setamat, which means "peace."

Indonesians are used to being in close quarters and needing little private space.  In conversation some body contact is therefore common, but not patronizing or overly intimate.  Touching a stranger of  the same sex while in conversation is very common.  Contact between people of the same sex is permitted and is interpreted as nothing except friendship.  Public displays of affection between men and women even between husband and wife is very inappropriate.  Many Indonesians consider the head the seat of the soul; never touch someone's head, even of a child.

Non-Verbal Communications

Indonesians are polite and will extend endless courtesies to visitors whom they trust and like.
Among both Muslims and Hindus, the left hand is considered unclean.  Avoid using the left hand when giving or receiving anything, whenever possible; however, both hands can be used when needed.  The foot is also considered unclean.  Do not move anything with your feet, do not point with your feet, and do not touch anything with your feet.  Do not rest feet on tables or desks.  Do not show the soles of feet or shoes; sit with legs crossed at the knee but not with one ankle on your knee.

Attracting the attention of someone with the palm up and wagging one finger, as in the United States, can be construed as an insult and it is considered impolite to point with your forefinger.  To attract the attention of someone, hold the hand out, palm downward, and make a scooping motion with the fingers.  Point with the right thumb and closed fist, like a hitchhiker; this gesture is also used to mean "go first."  Pounding one fist into the palm of your other hand is an obscene gesture among some Indonesians.  Standing tall with your hands on your hips is  interpreted as a sign of anger and aggression. 

Smiling is a cultural tradition and Indonesians smile frequently, even in an uncomfortable or difficult situation.  Visitors should avoid the temptation of losing their temper.  Respect monuments and places of worship.

Dining

Indonesians prefer home receptions and buffets to more formal entertainment.  During such a visit, the host will typically meet the visitor at the door, greet them warmly, usher them in and then show them where to sit.  It is appropriate to bring a hostess gift.  Polite conversation will follow and there will be a drink (tea, coffee, or soft drink) offered. Eventually food will be placed at table.  The food is ignored while the conversation continues or until the guest is clearly invited to eat; eating signals the end of the visit. 

Never pass or accept anything with the left hand.  Leave some on the plate to indicate more food is not wanted. 

When invited to a home, a gift is appreciated (use the right hand to offer it).  Giving food as a thank you gift such as coffee, candy, or fruit after the visit is appropriate.

Entertaining

Many Indonesians have negative images of foreigners.  Foreigners exploited Indonesia for some 300 years.  Social encounters are the best way for you to dispel that preconceived image; take advantage of any invitations to social events.  Establishing a successful business relationship requires establishing a social relationship as well.  Invitations to social events may not come immediately; let the Indonesians make the first invitation.  You cannot successfully host a social event until you have been a guest at a Indonesian event.  Generally, spouses may be invited to dinner but not to lunch; however, no business will be discussed at an event where spouses are present.  Respond to written invitations in writing.

Hosting a party for Indonesians can be complex.  Send out written invitations, addressed to husband and wife, a week in advance.  Red or pink paper is a good choice for invitations; do not print invitations on white or blue paper.  Do not expect many responses in writing, even if your invitations say R.S.V.P.  Find excuses to follow up, either by phone or in person, to remind your guests of the affair.  Be prepared to explain  what event the party is celebrating, the entire guest list, and who the guest of honor is.  Be sure to invite many Indonesians of the same ethnic group.  While the business executive husband probably speaks English, his wife probably does not.

Parties are held early, from 7 to 9 p.m.; Indonesians arise early and retire early.  Indonesians find buffets more comfortable than sit down dinners with assigned places.  Do not depend on Indonesian servants to plan the meal; the food must be sophisticated.  Observant Muslims do not drink alcohol.  Show great respect toward your guest of honor.  He or she is the last to arrive and the first to go through the buffet line.  The guest of honor is escorted through the buffet line and each dish is explained.  The guest of honor is walked to his or her car at the end of the evening.
 

Water and Food

Don't drink tap water anywhere in Indonesia.  Only drink commercially bottled water and use it for making ice cubes and for dental hygiene.

Don't eat  raw, unpeeled fruits and uncooked vegetables or salads;  any meat or poultry which is not cooked well-done;  food that is prepared in advance and then left to stand;  raw or undercooked seafood and shellfish, especially Sushi; and  food from street side stalls.  Wash all fruit and vegetables in bottled, clorine-treated or soapy water with a brush and use separate cutting boards for vegetables and meats so as to prevent cross-contamination.

Sources:
U. S. Department of State